Abstract
I never wear my lanyard. A crap photo over company colours with logo and a rainbow stripe fabric cord that shows how progressive we are. Losers wear them. It's like wearing a sandwich board that announces that you are a corporate kiss-ass who just loves your boss and would cross picket lines to give 110% customer satisfaction. You might as well tattoo your employers' strapline on your forehead. I'm too cool to wear a lanyard, even if it means that I have to reach into my wallet in order to get into a building when it would be much easier to have my pass card hanging around my neck where I can reach it without putting my cup of coffee and laptop on the floor or dropping papers on the pavement. My employer doesn't own me, has not lassoed me. I'm an independent professional, cynical about authorities of any kind, disobedient by nature. A critical free spirit. Fuck your lanyard. See?